My little angel is changing right before my eyes. I feel like one day I'm going to turn around and she'll be walking and talking. Everyone was right! It goes by so fast....
She likes to "talk" more, mostly when she's on her playmat. James and I have started putting her in her crib that's in our room at night and she still sleeps through the night in there. She will wake up a few times for her binky but then falls right back asleep. It's nice to have our bed back but I do worry about her. Sometimes I'll wake up and just go look at her to make sure she's still breathing. hahaha.
So this week is my last week off before I go back to work. I will be starting part time which is nice and not so intimidating but I'm still a little nervous. I mean, how am I going to go back to getting the kids up and ready at the butt crack of dawn and now having a baby to take care of all while trying to get myself ready for work and getting everyone dropped off at their different day cares and then get to Lafayette by 8am!!!?? To say I feel a little overwhelmed is an understatement. I know I'll get into a routine like I have since being home with all three kids but having to add myself to the mix is going to be a challenge. I feel like I should be doing something exciting my last week off but I don't even know what to do with myself and Emily. Plus, I still have the kids to drop off and pick up every couple of hours so I can't really go anywhere. Plus, this is the week to tie up any loose ends before my life goes to chaos. I have no concept of how any person can survive as a single parent. Aside from finances, taking care of kids is hard work! I would run away if I had to do this all by myself!
Thankfully I am extremely lucky. My family may not be around on a day to day basis, but James' is. His parents and brother and sister in law are all amazing!! They take the kids for us all the time. If I ever need an afternoon to get something done or want to make plans, Nana is always there to help me out. This last weekend she took all 3 kids for a sleepover at her house! It was so nice to have a night off and sleep in bed without worrying about the baby. Only having myself to worry about in the morning. Me and James have had more date nights and alone time since Emily got here than we did before! It's made every transition I've been going through so much easier. I feel bad for my family though. Not seeing Emily on a weekly basis would be torture for me! I know she's my baby and I'm biased that she's perfect but I just don't get how my parents don't see her more. She's their first born grandchild and she's pretty amazing if I may say so myself. But it is what it is and Emily has LOTS of people who love her and she is very lucky to have so many great people in her life.
Emotionally I've been feeling a lot better. I think I've been very lucky to have a nice balance in my life of fun and responsibility. I make sure to go out with my friends when I know I need to and James and I have lots of great times together too, plus we do lots of great family stuff. I feel pretty secure with my choices and how things are turning out.
The best thing ever was everyone in the house got sick. The kids had awful fevers for days and really bad colds. Jamesy even threw up a few times. Then James got it and I was next. Every minute I felt like crap was clouded with fear that Emily was next. But amazingly enough, after 2 weeks we are all better and she never showed any signs of a cold :) How lucky am I!? I know I can't avoid it forever but my anxiety and fear of the family being sick makes me physically sick so I was happy to avoid it this time around.
Emily shows signs of a personality every day. She's more alert and happy and is starting to hold her toys a little bit. I can tell she wants to get up and start walking and doing her own thing but her body won't move with her. I can't wait to see how she grows :)
Love, Diana :)
