Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Almost 15 months!!

Emily is so amazing. I know every parent probably thinks this at one time or another, but my kid is a frickin' genius!! GENIUS!

Last weekend she pooped her diaper and we asked her to go get her diapers and wipes and sure enough, the kid gets up walks to her room and brings back a diaper!! Granted, I had to go give her the wipes but halfway through her walk back to the family room, she actually stopped, put down the diaper and wipes and carried them a different way as to free up one hand. She'll repeat any word we tell her to (not four letter ones!! I know you all know how we work). Her favorite word right now is owie. Even when she's not hurt, she just says owie. She LOVES to call out "Mommy" while we're driving and as soon as I say "what" or "yes", she just says "hi" and repeats this over and over until we get to our destination. She's learning more and more how things work and learning to puts toys inside bigger toys and vice versa. Watching her figure things out is amazing.

She's still the happiest kid on the planet. She just recovered from a very bad ear infection, cold and pink eye and you wouldn't know it if she didn't look like shit. She never cried and still slept through the night (for the most part). We even had to put eye drops in her 4 times a day for a week plus oral antibiotics twice a day and she always took it like a champ. Except for her last dose....Daddy had to chase her around the house til he could catch her and pin her down. She loves to say NO! And she means it!!

If anyone needs help in raising this beautiful girl, it's me. She's doing everything right and I'm realizing that I'm doing things wrong. Hopefully not terribly, permanent damage wrong, but still wrong. She's always at my feet to pick her up and I always oblige. I read this week that I need to set expectations with her at this age and not give in to her every want. And when she does something wrong and I give her a stern "No" or smack on the hand and she cries, I immediately pick her up to console her. I need to let her have a tantrum and figure it out on her own once in a while. It's going to be very difficult for me. Before Emily got here (refer to pregnancy posts and word of mouth) I swore that kid wouldn't get the best of me, but here I am, almost a year and a half in and she can walk all over me. It's so hard though, she's so damn cute I just can't say no! But that's how evil spoiled children are born so I better watch it.....

Aside from my wonderful life with Emily, the kids and James, I'm feeling like maybe I'm starting to accept other peoples different roles in my life. I have to admit that I'm super disappointed in my mother's role in mine and Emily's lives. It's upsetting to have her live so far away, by choice mind you, and not be here to support me or her first grandchild when we need her. It kinda feels like being abandoned all over again. It's frustrating to feel that way and a waste of time. It's really my fault for expecting something different even though I know how she is. But I think every child expects their parents to finally do the right thing, even when they don't, over and over again. I wish my Dad was more involved in my daughter's life and mine by helping out. I only have James' family when it comes to anything, really, and I understand how truly lucky I am to have them and how lucky Emily is to have them in her life as well, but it's hard when my parents are so close yet so uninvolved.....

But I digress. Emily is a genius and I'm sticking to it. Every day she amazes me with the new things she says and learns to do. She'll throw away food that falls on the floor without asking. She'll bring you her shoes and she can even throw a basketball!! My little love is the best!

Love,
Diana :)

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Promises, Promises

My Dearest Sweet Love Emily Ann,

I love you with all of my heart and I always will. I promise you I will be there for you for as long as I live. I promise to be understanding, patient and loving to you. Even though there will plenty of times that I'm the exact opposite! I promise to be overprotective and over bearing because that's what Mothers do. I promise to be nosey when you're a teenager. I promise to freak out if you dye your hair pink, even though I did it too as a teenager. I promise to be proud of you always, even when I don't agree with your decisions. I promise that lying to you about Santa Claus will be the only big lie I will tell you. I may make up some other crap along the way, but nothing as serious as lying about where all your gifts come from on Xmas.

I promise to screw up, probably a lot. Just like you, I'm only human and the one thing you can count on with humans, is that they all make mistakes. I promise to remember that you're only human too when you make mistakes. I promise to get angry for stupid shit but I also promise to calm down and apologize when I'm at fault. I promise to try and raise you to the best of my ability. I promise to teach you to do your own laundry and clean your own room because when you're an adult you will thank me for instilling independence. I promise to help you with your homework until it's too difficult for me to figure out. Then, I'll promise to make Daddy help you with it :)

I promise that when you're older and meet someone and fall in love, to be supportive of your relationships regardless if you choose someone unemployed and covered in tattoos. As much as those relationships will worry me and upset me, the thought of you not having support will hurt way worse. And I promise to be there silently while you mourn the loss of those relationships.

When you have children of your own, I promise to be there for you when you're pregnant and scared (or excited!). I promise to be there to help you with your children. I promise to stay close to you so that if you need me in the middle of the night I can rush right over. I promise to love and care for your children as I did with you (or better!).

Always remember your older siblings will be your best bet into guiding you through childhood with two crazy parents. Joli will teach you how to do your own makeup when you're way too young to learn. Jamesy will teach you the best lies to tell when you're in trouble. But they will help you when you need it. They will take you and your friends places you shouldn't be going and help you sneak in and out of the house. They will also teach you how to fold towels and take out the trash.

Above all, I promise there will be times when you "hate" me but I will buck up and keep positive because I know there will be a time when you're sorry you said those words and will love me again. There will be screaming fits and tantrums and doors slammed in my face but you will always ALWAYS be my little girl and I will always forgive you and love you no matter what happens. And I hope that you will always forgive me and love me regardless of the mistakes that I will make along the way.

Most of all.....I promise NOT to say "I told you so".....to your face. 

Love ALWAYS, your Mommy :)