Thursday, August 25, 2011

Week 23!

Wow, I actually had to go to my last blog post just to remember which week I'm in. I'm starting to get very excited for little Emily to get here already. Pregnancy is finally kinda fun and not as awful as it was the first 3-4 months but it's still exhausting and I've been under a lot of stress lately so a drink or two or nine sounds really good right about now. I have this completely unrealistic vision of laying on a beach with drinks and only adults once this pregnancy is over. But in reality, I'll be covered in puke, poop and pee and exhausted from lack of sleep. It's like I forget that at the end of this 9 months, there will be a baby that will change my entire life for the rest of my life. Dreams of vacationing in Hawaii with James just the two of us will be put on the back burner, probably until we're in our 60's. Sometimes I wonder if this is really the best decision, or if I'll crack under the pressure but I'm starting to see myself as more of a Mommy and less of a partying 20 yr old Diana. I am the most raunchy person I know and have a weird, inappropriate sense of humor but lately I've been feeling a little reserved. Sometimes, actually offended! It's almost like I know I'm going to be someone's Mom so I can't say certain things or laugh at certain jokes. Hopefully this will pass, because as much as my sense of humor isn't for everyone, it's my favorite personality trait and I don't want to lose it!

I'm still feeling really good. Eating a lot, laughing a lot and just generally feeling better. But goodness! This indigestion or heart burn or acid reflux, whatever the hell it's called is going to kill me before I give birth. There is a constant burn in my throat/stomach and just not enough relief. My hips are feeling a little better, which is a nice break but I'm usually up at least once or twice during the night with really bad acid reflux. And then when I fall back asleep from that I wake up 5 minutes later with leg cramps. I wish I could videotape me during a nights sleep just to see how many times I get up out of bed to ease the cramps and then sit up to help the acid reflux and toss and turn to help my hips. It's a miracle James has been sleeping through this. Oh, and the kicking!!! Good LORD! I was thinking since I didn't feel her until a week or so ago that maybe she would be lazy like her Momma and just lay back and chill/sleep all day. Well...girlfriend is moving! I don't know what she's so excited about or why she just can't sit still but she's already got ADD! Which sounds very familiar to James, Joli and Jamesy. The 3 of them couldn't sit still for 5 minutes if someone offered them each a million dollars! But the cool part is at night when I lay on my side, James can feel her kick now. It's so weird that there is a little person inside my belly and it's kicking me! It almost feels like a bird is trapped in my belly and desperately flapping it's wings to get out.

So it's on week 2 of no kiddies and I'm starting to really really miss them. Joli's first day of 2nd grade was yesterday and I'm a little bummed I didn't get to be there to dress her and walk her to class and pack her backpack with her BUT I'm also really happy that her Mom was here to experience that with her. She is so close with her Mom and I know it was important for the both of them so I'm glad they had that day together. Also, my little man Jamesy started Kindergarten. I still remember the very first time I laid eyes on him and he just stared at me like "who is this stranger!" but he warmed up to me so fast and I miss holding him, miss changing his diapers, miss his beautiful baby curls. UH! I could cry just thinking about how much they've grown. But again, I couldn't be happier that they got to share this time with their Mom and I know there will always be next year for me to be there on their first day again :)

This weekend James is going to Washington for a friends wedding so I have the house to myself. Part of me is really excited because I can eat all the chips and salsa I want for 2 whole days with no one to stop me! The other part is a little sad that I'll get lonely. But normally I love to have ME time so I'm going to make the best of it regardless. But I do rely on James to do pretty much everything so it's going to suck to have to get my own glass of water. hahaha jk.

Oh and my Dad keeps telling me to put in here how much he loves and how much I love him. So Dad, I love you too!! And I know you "love your little girl" :)

HOW FAR ALONG:  23 weeks (the baby is the size of....who knows!? She's frickin big!)

SLEEP: I will overdose on Tums this weekend and try to catch up :)

FOOD CRAVINGS: Right now, anything that's edible I want to shove in my mouth! (that doesn't sound right...)

WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO: CHIPS AND SALSA!!! CHIPS AND SALSA!!! JAMES CAN'T STOP ME!!!

WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO:  Waiting til December for my little love muffin!


Love, Diana :)

Friday, August 19, 2011

Week 22....I almost forgot!

I almost forgot to blog this week! It's been pretty crazy lately. Lots going on with the move and getting the house situated and work has been a lot busier than usual. I feel like I'm in this strange middle ground where I'm over the sickness and initial shock of being pregnant but I'm not quite at that stage where I'm preparing to give birth, have a heavy baby laying on my bladder all day and swollen feet. It almost feels like I know a huge transition is coming but I don't know when or where or how to prevent it. I keep comparing my fear of giving birth to being shot. It's like someone is telling me "hey, in a few months on a day and time you won't be expecting it, someone will shoot you. You'll live but it will be painful and traumatizing" Or like those people in those Final Destination movies. They know death is trying to get them but they don't know when or how. I'm sure having a baby isn't as awful as being shot or chased down by death but it's the closest comparison I can relate to at this time.

The good news is I'm still feeling pretty good. My appetite has kicked in full force and I feel like a pig 24 hours a day. I'm constantly shoveling food in my mouth or thinking about what kind of food I want to shovel in my mouth. I don't have any cravings though, at least not yet. I feel like eating fruit a lot more and of course my usual chips and salsa are always on my mind but nothing that I can actually taste in my mouth or HAVE to have.

This last week has been so nice! The kids' mom is in town for a few weeks so she has them full time which is a nice break. I miss them already and want to hug their little bodies as tight as possible, but I definitely can use the break and I'm enjoying all the time I get to spend with James :) No rush in the mornings to get out the door, no rush to get home and figure out dinner. Aahhhhh reality is going to SUCK next week!

We also got to have a date night with James' parents. Just the four of us. We never get to go out like that so it was nice to be able to have a conversation without kids interrupting us. And today I got to go to lunch with the girls. It was a very nice, much needed break from work. And I'm sorry Jamie, but I have to tell this story! One of Jamie's oldest friends, Mercedes, has an 8 month old boy. He is the cutest little thing in the world and every time I see him I get so excited for little Emily to get here. Anyways, Jamie held her little boy while we ate lunch and he peed on her!!! HE PEED THROUGH HIS DIAPER!!! Is this the kind of stuff I have to look forward too??? It was kinda funny though....I'm sure I wouldn't have thought so if he peed on me but he might as well have. I'll have to get used to that sooner or later! And it's nice to be able to ask her a million questions about being a Mom.

On the mommy-to-be front not too much has changed since last week. My belly button is really hard though and about to start sticking out. That freaks me out a little. My belly is slowly but surely growing and it's hard too. Emily is finally making full on ninja kicks and she's mostly active at night but during the day she can be too. The indigestion is unbearable at this point and I've heard rumors that that could mean the baby is growing more hair. If this is the case, my baby is Chewbacca because I have acid reflux 24/7! I also got a chance last weekend to visit my Grandma at her grave site in Lafayette. I miss her so much, especially lately because I can actually picture here holding my baby and smiling at the both of us. I told her about my little nugget and how I'm naming her after the greatest grandma (and Mother if you ask my Dad) to walk the earth. I promised to be as loving to Emily as she was to my Dad. Just maybe more strict :) I did have a little mini breakdown the other night though. I was watching Ice loves Coco (give me a break, there was nothing else on TV!) and Coco's sister went into labor and they showed her and the birthing stuff. I freaked. My jaw hit the floor and I immediately stomped out to James in the living room, did my cry face and proceeded to refuse to give birth. I told him if the dr's said push, I would hold her in. I will no way do this! It looks so scary and chaotic and I just don't see the "natural, beautiful" thing in popping a baby out of your hoohoo! It's just not right....there has to be another way. My goal is to come up with an alternative way to get a baby out of my belly besides c-section and the age old typical way before Emily gets here. I better hurry up!

HOW FAR ALONG:  22 weeks (baby is the size of a spaghetti squash?)

SLEEP: What sleep? My hips hurt SO bad I'm too uncomfortable to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time

FOOD CRAVINGS: Nothing yet. Maybe when I get bigger I'll start having some cravings.

WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO: Holding her in my arms for the first time.

WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO:  Trying to find an alternative to giving birth...that may be tricky!

Love, Diana :)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Week 21

I wish I had some exciting news to report this week but it's been pretty low key. The baby is now 10 1/2 inches long (or around that) and weighs over 12 oz. which I knew from my ultrasound last week. She's been moving around a lot more lately too. My stomach flutters all morning/early afternoon and then again at night time when I'm resting. It's such a weird feeling and I wish I could feel it from the outside so others could feel too but not yet! I'm starting to feel very...what's the word?...motherly! I'm getting more and more concerned about taking care of little Emily and that's a totally knew and strange feeling for me. But it's also kinda nice :)

We're pretty much fully moved into to our new home. It's so amazing to have a house with lots of space and room for everyone to do their own thing without sitting on top of each other. And it's really exciting to see Emily's room that I'll get to furnish and decorate in the next few months. Joli drew a giant picture for her to hang on the wall. Honestly, it looks like one of those satanic star-in-circle pictures but I would never dream of telling her that so Emily will be sporting 666 paraphernalia on her wall for a while :) The one thing I'm not looking too forward to is baby proofing the house. Luckily for the first few weeks anyways she won't be doing much moving around on her own so I'll have a while to make the house safe but there's just so much I haven't thought about yet and when I even try to think about making a check list or marking something off that check list, I get so overwhelmed. And I think I over did it a little bit during packing and moving because my stomach feels so sore like I pulled a muscle but hopefully that will go away in a few days.

This is probably the best I've felt since I found out I was expecting and it's nice to have my appetite back and feel so happy for a change. The headaches have been less painful and seem to not last as long as usual. Not sure if this is permanent or not, but I'm eating it up while I can! Lots of indigestion though. Every night I'm up and down with burning sensations in my throat and stomach. Also my hips and back are hurting a lot so I'm not sleeping much because I can't seem to get comfortable. I bought a pregnancy pillow and it's HUGE! Half the size of the bed, but it hurts my neck and makes me feel suffocated so maybe when I'm bigger I'll be able to enjoy it more. My belly seems to have doubled in the size. I know it hasn't literally but all of a sudden when I look down, all I see is a huge gut! There's no denying I'm preggers now!

It was very cute, last night when the baby was fluttering around I told James and he came over and started talking to her and she moved around even more. I think she's getting used to his voice and that makes me so happy. The kids love to kiss my belly for the baby and hug her too. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have such a wonderful little family that I love so much and that love me just as much. I'm very excited for the kiddies because their Mom just got back from a tour in Afghanistan and will be here in about a week to spend some time with them. They are SO excited to see their Mommy!!! And I'm just as excited to have some me and Daddy time too :)

HOW FAR ALONG:  21 Weeks (baby is about 10 1/2 inches long!)

SLEEP:  I miss sleep so much :( It was my favorite pastime!

FOOD CRAVINGS: Mostly just chips and salsa. I could eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO: Alone time with James and finishing the house

WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO:  I hear the 3rd trimester can be rough especially close to the due date. I'm a little nervous about how I'll feel then since I'm already so uncomfortable.

Love, Diana :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

20 Weeks.....HALF WAY THERE!!

YAY! I've made it halfway through this pregnancy and am feeling SO SO much better!! Now that the nausea has subsided and I have my appetite back, I'm finding a few new symptoms I wasn't expecting. Aside from the bad headaches I'm still suffering from a few times a week and the new nose bleed sessions, I noticed I broke out in a red rash-type thing over the weekend. It passed after several minutes but now I have little red spots all over. Apparently it's normal and to be honest, at this point, it wouldn't surprise me if I started growing fins or a second head.

I'm feeling very excited about our little girl arriving. I can't wait to just have her here and have my body back to myself and start focusing on her little body growing. Anyone who knows me, can vouch that I can be a little neurotic. And now that the sickness is over with, the neuroses has kicked in full force. I'm constantly finding myself with questions that need immediate answers. Like, how will I know what type of bottles to use? Or formula in case this whole breastfeeding thing doesn't work out? How long do you swaddle a baby for?? And since I'm a little crazy, I've already looked into and started booking classes. Next week, James and I will visit the hospital I plan to give birth in (San Ramon Valley Regional) and do a tour to see where I will be admitted at, what the rooms look like and the nursery, etc. Apparently, most parents don't do this until later in the pregnancy but I must know NOW what I'm in for and where to go and what to do! I'm also looking at scheduling breastfeeding classes as soon as next month but maybe I'll hold off so I don't come off as too unstable a person....

This last weekend was busy with James and I packing up the condo getting ready for our big move into our new house this coming weekend. I also get neurotic about moving so of course we had to have EVERYTHING packed by Sunday night even though we're not moving until Saturday morning. Luckily, James is a little crazy when it comes to moving too so he's on the same page as me :) I saw my OB yesterday who said not to lift anything heavy so now we're down a person to help move. No biggie (at least for me!) but it does add to the stress a little bit. I'm sure everything will work out though :)

I had a great weekend. My mom came to visit from Utah. I took her to see the new place last Thursday night. Well....we don't have the keys yet so I just took her around the backyard and we peeked into all the windows. Then Saturday she came over and brought me all my favorite snack foods. Chips and salsa, cheese and crackers, fruit and my favorite!!! A Katrina Roselle cake. YUMMY! Then she took the kids for a few hours while James and I packed up the place. They love hanging out with Grandma Sue!! You never know where they'll end up or what they'll come home with. Luckily this time it was just candy and some clams? that the kids found in yucky duck pond water. And Sunday night she came over and we took her to Casa Orozco.

Monday was my favorite day again!! My Mom got to come with me for my 20 week ultrasound and my OB check up. The 20 week ultrasound was kinda boring because apparently it's my last ultrasound so they had to check all her body parts and functions. They took pictures of her heart, her kidneys, her brain, her legs, arms, fingers and toes. Of course, she was very uncooperative as usual, so I had to get up, use the restroom, do some stretches and start over. My poor Mom was mostly freaked out by the tech pushing on my belly to try and get the baby to move. I'm used to it and was convinced it doesn't hurt the baby but my Mom was NOT liking that at all!! I thought at one point she was going to attack the technician and threaten to shake him like he was shaking my belly. Then she got to go to my regular OB check up with me and see my neurotic behaivor first hand as I questioned my dr. up a storm! Since I'm due around Christmas time, I need to know his holiday schedule! Is he planning on being on call for me? Apparently not... Will he be working during the holidays in case she comes then? Nope. So unless I'm really late or early, I might be delivering with a different OB. I have a feeling that when I'm in labor I will care less if my OB or a birthday clown will be delivering my child. I asked him how accurate due dates are and he said "not really" That's not very reassuring for a crazy planner like me. If I wasn't so against getting a c-section, I would be picking a day to give birth. Hopefully my little love muffin will want to be on time or early just like her Momma :)

Here's some pics of what she looks like now.....








My Mom also bought a few baby items which are TOO CUTE!!






HOW FAR ALONG:  20 Weeks (baby weighs 12oz and is the size of a banana)

SLEEP:  Not sleeping very well. Starting to get uncomfortable and move around a lot.

FOOD CRAVINGS: Nothing yet. Maybe I won't have cravings??

WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO: Setting up the baby room

WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO: Breasfeeding. I almost feel like giving birth will pale in comparison to having my nipples ruined.

Love, Diana :)